Where has the time gone...

I turned 50 this year and it got me thinking about what I've done with my life at this half century milestone....  The last couple of years have been a whirlwind of a global pandemic, lockdowns, pasta, rice, flour and toilet roll shortages!! The high streets have suffered and many big named stores have closed down.  

I was lucky enough to be able to carry on working through, but others were not so fortunate and were either laid off or told to stay at home (not much of a hardship given the glorious weather mind!!)

It has also reminded me that I had this blog and I'd neglected it for so long I thought that it too,  would have been closed down.

So here I am, June 2021, thinking about Ben's upcoming birthday and reminiscing about his birth....

18 years ago, I was 24 weeks into my pregnancy and planning for the birth of my first child. It was an exciting time for my family as my sister, Lyn, was also pregnant but further ahead than me, due in July.

Steve was in the army and over in Cyprus training. All was going well with no indication of any problems. This was my 2nd pregnancy in the last 12mths, but this one progressed past 11 weeks, so all was hopeful. As I’d had a previous miscarriage, I was having closer care with extra checks to make sure baby’s heart was beating. 

I was still working and finding it harder to hide the bump and was planning on ordering a maternity uniform. One night though, at bedtime, I noticed some blood when I went to the loo.  I called the maternity ward for advice and I was told me to come straight in for a check to be safe. I was advised not to drive, but it was the middle of the night, I had no-one to bring me in, so they I was told to call an ambulance.  They arrived so quickly I didn’t have time to get anything together; I was expecting to be home again the next day anyway. 

On the unit I was placed in one of the labour suites and checked over by a midwife.  There was a bit more blood than they were happy with so a Dr came to check. Baby’s heart was beating so they weren’t too worried but wanted me to have a scan to be sure. By the morning, it seemed that I was in very early labour and the baby was feet first in my womb. I was given some medication to try to slow things down and  then I was told I’d be staying in.  I didn’t have a phone with me, so they called my Mum to come in and be with me and she arrived with my sister.  In the meantime, one of the midwifes started trying to track down Steve from a contact she had in the army. Eventually she came and let me know that they had found him (I only knew where he was based in the UK and wasn’t thinking straight). So he was put on the next plane out of there and transport arranged to get him to the hospital.

All day I was having labour pains, I didn’t realise this it what they were as they just felt like period pain. I was given a lot of information during the day about what was going to happen, that I was already dilating and that baby was still breach, feet first and could be a tricky birth. There would be a lot of medical staff in the room with Midwifes, Doctors and SCBU nurses. I felt safe but also worried about the baby.  Lyn couldn’t stay as she had to get home so Mum stayed.   I eventually gave birth to baby Ben, 1lb 1oz and he was whisked away to be cared for. I can’t really remember much after that apart from the tea and lovely buttered toast! Everyone was amazing and couldn’t do enough to care for us. My mum was given a fold away bed to be able to stay in the room with me overnight.

The next day Steve arrived and we were able to go and see Ben. We moved into the Ty Croeso, Dawn Elizabeth house in YGC so that we could be close to Ben. I was trying to express milk for him but it was a struggle, producing such small amounts, it hardly seemed worth it. But the midwifes were so encouraging and supportive, explaining this was the very best nutrition I could give to him.  He was so tiny, in an incubator with a tube in his mouth and wires and monitors all around, beeping loudly.  I was able to sit next to his incubator for  a while but the alarms were constant, however the calmness of the nurses eased my mind.

After a few days, he wasn’t doing too well and had developed a problem with his intestines,  Necrotising enterocolitis,  and one on his heart, patent ductus arteriosus, so he was rushed over to Alder Hey for 2 major operations. While waiting form Ben to be transported by ambulance, he opened his eyes for the first time. It was beautiful.  We were transferred to Liverpool Women’s hospital but the family rooms there were only for overnight stays so we had to travel visit him. After 3 weeks, and once friends and family had had a chance to visit, we had to make a very hard decision.  He was on a machine that was controlling his breathing, he was on monitors and having his bloods checked constantly. We needed to do what was best for Ben, he wasn’t breathing for himself, this wasn’t living. All the advice pointed to him being very poorly and we agreed that it would be the best for him to take him off the machines and let him go. We had our first and last proper cuddle with him that day and it was so special to have the time with him. We both kissed his warm little head as he slipped away. 

We collected all his little toys from his incubator including his little mousey – we didn’t want it to be lost as he was going to be buried with it.  The Nurses were lovely, taking hand and footprints, a little lock of his hair and putting a memory box together. The next couple of weeks were a blur of informing family and friends, arranging the funeral and coming to terms with Ben’s passing.  

 I'm sorry that this isn't in my usual jolly style, but I really wanted to get this down in writing somewhere to come back to read and to pass on my story.  

Normal joviality will resume - hopefully - please bear with me xx

Where have I gone wrong?

Whilst standing in the tattoo parlour the other day, helping my Mum pick out a tattoo for her foot, I couldn't help thinking that this was the wrong way round!! There she was, laughing with the tattooist that I was very disapproving and what she does with her own body is her business.  Yes, that is very true, but she turned 60 last year, surely, by now, she should have got over the whole 'body-art' phase and slipped into her pop socks and slippers phase??

(This was actually a draft post that I've just published from 2010 - Mum turned 70 last year and I wouldn't be surprised if she'd sneaked another tattoo in since then!)

Be Prepared

I've had such a busy few months what with 4 wedding invitations and the final one being this Saturday, it's been a whirlwind of fasinators, favours and hen dos!!  In among all this we decided to take the caravan out for a little trip to get it ready for the summer.  As usual the boys are all excited, running around packing all the usual useless objects that they don't even use or play with at home, let alone on holiday!!  Whilst in the bathroom, giving it a quick once over before we go, Tom had a brainwave.  Very proudly, he came into the bathroom and with a very serious yet excited look on his face stated - "Shall we take some mouthwash in case we make new friends?".... When I finished laughing, I managed to convince him that it wasn't needed as long as he brushed his teeth as normal. However, I would love to know where the link is and how he made it....

Will the Real Father Christmas please step forward!

I seem to be leaving  more and more of a gap between my blogs. This could be alot to do with my life revolving around work, the boys and facebook!!! So much so, that I keep forgetting my login details. So here I am again, after going through numerous password recovery attemps, trying desperately hard to remember the funny thing that happened recently that prompted me to login here and share it with the world....or just you!  

Ok, big hint from the title, it must be about Father Christmas or Santa, as the boys prefer to call him.  We'd visited Llandudno yesterday with the main aim of getting Ryan's new glasses and getting out, but I guess I was pretty stupid to think that was ever going to happen!! First hirdle, I had to park at the top of town and walk down past the amusement arcade - them - "Mum, Mum, can we go in there, just for 1 minute - Please??",- Me - "No, maybe later on the way back if we have enough time". Second hirdle, the opticians is in the shopping mall so I have to pass the toy shop to get there - them - "Mum, Mum, can we go in there, just for 1 minute - Please??",- Me - "No, maybe later on the way back if we have enough time", okay, I know I'm pushing it now...let's hope there's a very long queue in the opticians and we have to rush.  No such luck, we approach the desk and no-one's waiting, we're seen straight away, Ryan's glasses are ready, a slight adjustment and there, off you go. Damn it!!! So, I give in and let them have 1 minute to look in the toy shop and to be fair to them, when the time was up they came straight to the door to meet me, I didn't have to drag them out kicking and screaming. Feeling very smug and with a new found confidence that, yes, I can control and over-excited 6 and 7 year old, I floated out of the shop with air of superiority over the other harrassed parents reasoning and screaming at their kids!!  However, I should have seen it coming "GASP - Look it's Santa, can we go and see him, please, please please??", Ok, so maybe they'd seen him from inside the shop and together they'd cooked up this 'let's be good for mum and then she'll take us to Santa' plan, well, it worked and for 2 minutes I had the best behaved kids in the whole shop and that was good enough for me!!  So off we popped to see Santa, who was just about to be hidden behind his backdrop so he could have a break!! But the canny snowman, spotting a couple of kids and a mum who looked like she wanted to be parted with a her hard earned cash, quickly dragged him back out again and plonked him on the chair to chat to the boys.  I ordered their picture while they asked politely for the toys they and  I tried desperately to hear if what they were asking for was what they were getting!! Santa gave a jovial laugh and said he would see what he could do, but couldn't promise anything as there were alot of boys and girls to visit on Christmas eve. The boys were happy with this and after raiding his sweet bag, came away with big smiles and happy chatter.
Next day, as planned, we took a drive out to Llechwedd Slate mines to visit Santa in his caves (??!!) Again, the boys got all excited about this, but did question if this would be the real Santa that they saw in town yesterday. I explained that Santa was magical and that he could be anywhere at any time..again, this seemed to settle their minds.  We got to the mines, hopped on the little trained and popped on our hard-hats, which all added to the fun of the visit.  As we got closer to the grotto in the caves, it suddenly dawned on me, after them meeting the 'Real' santa in Victoria Centre yesterday,  when this Santa asked them what they wanted for Christmas, are they were going to say something along the lines of "Don't you remember Santa? I only told you yesterday..'  So, with the fingers crossed and the other half hovering with his new toy to take the traditonal Santa picture, the boys stepped forward. At the crucial point, the boys, in awe of the big bearded man in a red suit, dutifully asked for the computer game and Jeep that they previously asked for!! Phew!! I'm pretty sure they'd worked on the basis that they would just keep asking for the same thing everytime and hopefully one of these Santas should bring it!! Which seems like another pretty good plan to me.

Puppies and Gin ....

I really don't know whose the worse, my other half or the kids!!   2 Weeks ago, our dog had her first litter of puppies. To be honest, she coped so much better than the rest of us, and I've already had 3 labours myself, so felt I had a bond with her!! I'd spent a few nights reading up on what to do when the time comes and was ready with my towels and handbook...let the welping begin.  Only, when the time came, I'd just put the boys to bed and was sat on my bed enjoying a good book and a lovely cup of tea.  Not long after, my other half shouted for me, so I shouted downstairs to ask what he wanted.  He sounded a bit panicked and said the puppies were coming, so I grabbed the towels and handbook and made my way, leisurely down stairs. As he normally has a tendancy to exagerate, I was expecting to see that Chrystal had wet herself - or even him (hehehe). So, I came into the room and said, how do you know? To which, he pointed at the sofa (where they'd been snuggling together as I'd not been there to stop them!!) and there was this cute little puppy, all wet and slimy.  Mum, Chrystal, was looking at it a bit oddly then started to lick it, so nature kicked in and took over. I used the towel's to dry his leg and the sofa!!
It went quiet then, so we called the neighbours round to a bit of support and to keep us all going through the night.  The next one didn't appear till after midnight. The other half, Steve, and our neighbour had popped out front for a smoke, Chrystal followed for some fresh (??) air.  However, the act of standing and walking seemed to trigger the movement of another puppy, so next minute I was called for, with my towels to help catch the puppy outside. Chrystal was staggering around, looking like she was having a poo, and Sarah from next door, did an excellent job of catching the slippery little pup before it hit the ground.  Steve had been there with the torch, so passed it to me saying - Here, hold this. Which I did, thinking he was going to help, but no, he finished the sentence of with - I'm just nipping to the van for the beers, be back in a second.  So, there we were, a little shocked by the next arrival and even more so by Steve's sudden desire for beer!!!
Mind you, it did keep us all going, through the final 4 puppies and eventually hit the sack at 4am.

Ryan and Tom have been a bit lacking in material for me lately, so haven't been able to update the world with their little 'pearls'.  But today, was Ryan's day.  Nothing major, we'd been watching a tv ad about teabags, the old lady was saying how she bought them for her husband. She didn't like tea, she likes gin.  Me and Steve had a chuckle about that, then Ryan asked - What's gin?. So I said it's what old people drink to make them happy. To which he said - Is that what you drink Mum?....the cheeky monkey - he was serious too!! Steve laughed and gave him a hug, I just laughed and rearranged my hair to hide the grey.....

Bonfire Night and Family do's.

What bad timing it was to be invited to a friend of the family's anniversary party on the same night at bonfire night.  The boys were so excited about taking the 4x4 out, parking on the prom and watching the fireworks being set off from the pier.  Unlike previous years, it didn't rain, so the fireworks went ahead, if a bit disappointing compared to their usual high standards.  Not helped, I suppose, by last years costly mistake of setting up the fireworks when a rather large rain storm was forecast, which then promptly soaked the firesworks rendering them useless!! The council kept talking about the cost of drying them out and re-arranging for another night, New Year was even considered - but it never happened.  So this year, I think they were being a bit more cautious and the result was a damp squib of an affair on a rather nice night!!!

So, to make up for it, we decided to go to the family party after all.  I didn't really feel up to it, so just threw on some clean clothes and made our way to the party.  When we got there, it was a typical italian family do, with lots of family, friends, food and drink!! We found our little group and went over to join them. The boys found the dance floor and started chasing the lights round and badgering the DJ for Robbie Williams.  Kept them happy anyway.

Not long after we arrived, everyone was invited up to help themselves to the buffet. It was a lovely spread with lots of choice as you would expect.  I'd only just had my tea, a pizza on the prom, so thought I'd just have a cake.  I could see across the dance-floor that Tom, Ryan and their cousins had set themselves up on a table, not far from the food. I also noticed that Tom had a lovely big slice of chocolate cake, so headed over for a closer look.  As I got nearer, Tom spotted me and said "Mmm, Mum this chocolate cake is lovely" He then started to scoop some up with his spoon "Do you want some?" he asked, "Ooh, yes please Tom." I said, to which he pointed to the table of food and said "There's more over there!!".

I couldn't help myself, I gave him a big kiss on the head, and rushed back to our table laughing!!

Those pesky slugs!!

Now that the rains have started and the creepy crawlies are coming out of hiding,  I have been reminded of something that happened a few years ago, not long after I'd moved into this house. 

I came home from work to find a note from the postman to say he'd dropped a package off next door. so I popped round, dodging a few monster sized slugs on the way.  After a bit of small talk, I mention how surpised I was at the size of the slugs round here.  He gave me a funny look and asked where I'd lived before. Not far, I said, but in flat up 2 flights of stairs, so I wasn't bothered by them there.

He said that it wasn't normally much of a problem round here, and he hadn't heard of anyone else being too worried by it. However, he then went on to say that a house down the road had been badly affected by them a few years back, mainly because of the mountain behind us.  Visions of monster slugs coming down from the mountains started to form in my mind - OMG what have I let myself in for!!!  He then went on to say that at least it wasn't as bad at the Junction, when the whole of the bottom of the hill was under water for days!!! Water??? eh???  And then the penny dropped - he was talking about FLOODS not SLUGS!!!

Was I glad I hadn't asked him too much detail about how the slugs had got into the house, so with a relieved smile and thanks, I made my exit and returned home safe in the knowledge that those pesky slugs on the path would never be coming in my house!!!